Four things I stopped to survive this crisis — A lesson on connectedness.

“You can never connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards” — Steve Jobs.

There I was, looking backwards at the history of insanity, not only the human one but that of my own life, making the same mistake over and over again: “don’t stop, keep going”, don’t stop learning, don’t stop working, don’t stop fighting, don’t stop growing, etc., because this was somehow keeping me alive. Then the pandemic happened and this framework became rather dysfunctional, I had no other choice but to stop in order to stay sane.

I stopped watching the news. It wasn’t an easy decision, even less to put it into practice. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to engage in any conversation on the latest state of the world headlined with “Covid-19”, nor able to share anything online, but then I thought I was actually making a favour to everybody. The waves of information raised at light speed through all media and formats, my mind was entering the saturation point, the point where it couldn’t make more sense of the data for more reasonable or stupid it was, it was just too much, and I wasn’t able to process it properly under my lens of sanity, let alone to focus on what was really important and I could actually control: my mental health and well being.

I stopped being available for everyone. The romanticism of the pandemic took over and we started to live under the moto “we’re in this together”, which we all took literally. Work, family, and the self collapsed the day they all had to live together. Millions of people like me, with kids demanding full attention, a team needing your presence and leadership “anytime”, the stakes to keep business “as usual” and the constant reporting to keep everyones peace of mind, the friends asking for your support and your family demanding daily check ups. I stopped all that chaos and started curating my priorities with one rule in mind: my time goes to people and things that gave me energy instead of taking it. I made myself available for gardening, walks, old high school friends, and even for naps in the middle of the day.

I stopped reading conspiracy theories. They were my dose of fun and entertainment, but then some of the most spiritual and intelectual people I know got into them, I lost it, suddently it was like being already on the rabbit whole and going into another, you would start reading one and soon you’ll be running a full spiral down, with no end. I unfollowed all people posting CT’s and instead I ordered a bunch of books, from Maya Angelou, Eckhart Tolle, to Leonard Koren and Tedis Lopez-Mills. Image for post I stopped plugging in for the sake of it. Being online doesn’t mean necessarily to be connected, or being in this together, sometimes felt all the oposite, people ending even more lonely because we are way more hours online. I didn’t feel able to change or contribute properly to anything by shifting my mind from one topic to the other without concious thinking , I needed to unplug and connect for real. I started together with my high school friends a weekly space for connection called “Table Talks Radio” (Sobremesa), based in the Mexican tradition of sharing after eating, which is the time where the table becomes a safe (even sacred) space, and people decompress for hours through jokes, untold stories, dreams, fears, emotions, knowledge and reflections, at times you would leave the table with nothing but your soul, or you would start eating again.

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I learned true connection is not a process or a task or a course, is full presence, is understanding, a true gift, none of which technology can provide. Connection brings a “flow” that goes on and on when we’re in sync with our presence, being in the present moment creates memorable experiences and elightment, key for the blue print of our future, do we imagine creating a great future from a state of distance, anxiety or fear? Of course not, I don’t. That’s the reason why many systems and ideologies have failed in the first place.

So the question that remains is, are we willing to STOP and make the effort to CONNECT and ACT upon what life is asking from us?

The answer to that won’t be found in what we are doing, but in what we are. We must take ownership of our future, wherever we are, at home, in our offices, studios, workshops, businesses, schools, boards, in the front lines, in the back ends. The answer is already in each of us.

Let’s stop and connect with it to bring change for real.